The Denigration of Christian Marriage, and other functions of the household gods
The womens' blogs I frequent have been abuzz recently with a lecture delivered by Al Mohler entitled Reflecting on The "Mystery" of Marriage, in which he claims that marriage is the "norm" for Christians.
..."the Bible assumes that marriage is normative for human beings... though singleness is not a sin...the deliberate putting off of marriage among some who intend some day to be married (is) the sin... that besets this generation." More here-
I will be up front about it- this kind of thinking drives me nuts. First of all, it's a sacrament, people.
Secondly, Christians have explicit Scriptural resources for comparing/contrasting the vocations of marriage and singleness (cf I Corinthians 7 and throughout the Gospels), and to avoid the Biblical praise of the celibate life, whether temporary or permanent, for the sake of the Kingdom, reflects a preconcieved commitment to read secular family values into the life and radical, exclusive, ultimate calling of Jesus... could it be subtle idolatry? I tend to think so.
Marriage Normative? In the sense of a moral requirement? Hardly. St. Paul goes so far as to assure us that the provision for human necessity in marriage is actually "not a sin." To reverse Paul's thinking and place the burden of proof on singleness is simply a bad bad reading of Scripture.
Marriage Normative? In the sense of being typical? Sure! Marriage is as "normal" as can be... in the worl's eyes. People "need" security, offspring and sex! Oh brother, the Christian should say at this point, I think. What followers of Jesus "need" is to save their lives by losing them. In light of what we know about our Lord, marriage cannot be a birthright, a prerogative, or a universal calling. It cannot be necessarily best for each and every Christian. But it can be a vocation on par with the freedom and graces of the celibate life which Jesus, Paul, and thousands of the saints embraced.
Christians KNOW from Scripture that it is celibacy, in its asceity and renunciation, that is highly prized by God and His Church. Make no subtle excuses about it and READ your Bibles! On the other hand, hooray! Marriage is also validated by Christ and His Church as a high vocation, as glorious even as celibacy in its witness to the Kingdom. But marriage is no "normal" human function. Marriage, for the Christian citizen of an age not of this world, is a testimony- a witness, a sacrifice, a ministry to which certain Christians are CALLED.
Sure, most Christians marry. But to say that they do so as a merely "normal" function, or that they morally "must" marry is to denigrate a high and particular calling to a matter of course. Marriage deserves better.
Let's really honor marriage and allow that it is NOT for everyone, given that every Christian is "for" Christ...and not ultimately "for" a family.
(HT to Crystal, who sadly keeps deleting my blustery comments, and to the very balanced and thoughtful YLCF)
posted by MM at 6:06 AM
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